


A Song For Remus

by rubywallace25



Series: Messrs Padfoot and Moony Are Proud to Present a Series of Romanic Disasters [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:27:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 17,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25209934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubywallace25/pseuds/rubywallace25
Summary: A follow up to The Various Romantic Adventures of Messrs Padfoot and Moony, which you can find on my dash or you can just read this.Sirius decides to write a song for Remus...
Relationships: Frank Longbottom/Dorcas Meadowes, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter/Severus Snape, Mary Macdonald/Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Messrs Padfoot and Moony Are Proud to Present a Series of Romanic Disasters [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1873549
Comments: 93
Kudos: 229





	1. Stay Punk

Things have been different since they returned from the Christmas holidays, and specifically since their kiss.

They kiss all the time now, whenever they are alone.

In empty corridors, in classrooms, in bushes...the 'in bushes' part is a little awkward, since it's hard to explain away the twigs in their hair and the grass stains.

Plus it's January, so it's freezing.

Even the lake is frozen over.

James and Peter don't seem to take any notice, mainly because James doesn't mind and Peter is too busy with Mary Macdonald to notice.

There was a moment when they'd woken up in Remus' bed, after a chaste night filled with sleeping and a good amount of kissing, so perhaps not so chaste, anyway, Frank Longbottom, who they share a dormitory with had given them a look.

Frank had never followed this look up with any words, so the pair had taken this to be him giving them his blessing.

Not that it was required, but it did make life easier.

They've even been on a double date of sorts to The Three Broomsticks in the company of Peter and Mary and James, so not really a date, but Sirius had wrapped his arm around Remus' shoulder and finished off his butterbeer.

But Sirius usually behaves like this when they're in The Three Broomsticks.

They wake up this morning in their separate beds, and Sirius is roused by the sound of James yawning, James' yawns are extremely loud, and he would know the sound anywhere.

With his bed curtains drawn Sirius listens to the sounds of the dormitory as the other boys all wake up.

Peter farts.

Frank laughs.

James yawns again.

But there's a noise missing...

And then Sirius hears it, the sound of that odd little sigh that tells him that Remus is awake.

His heart leaps in his chest at the prospect of spending another day in the company of Remus Lupin.

The other boys all get dressed, Sirius can hear them, he hears James trip over the bottom of his trunk, and the accompanying swearing, while Peter asks for help with his tie, Remus is the one who helps him with that.

When will Peter learn to tie his own tie?

He can turn himself with ease into a rat, but he can't tie his own school tie.

Sirius thinks about how lucky he is to have such a caring boyfriend.

He wants to write a song.

Actually during Christmas when he'd been hiding in his bedroom with his cousin Andromeda, away from the rest of his wretched family, he had written a song about Remus.

Andromeda had taught him three cords on her Muggle guitar, which they'd hidden under his bed, which had later been discovered by Kreacher.

His Mother had made him burn it, not the House Elf or the bed, but the guitar, while Andromeda had cried.

He'd watched the fire burn his favourite cousin's prize possession, and all the while in his head, he'd been finishing the song dedicated to the half-blood, werewolf, boy that he is madly in love with.

Oh yeah, another thing Sirius realised during the Christmas holidays, is that he's in love with Remus.

Hopelessly.

Helplessly.

He hears the sound of the dormitory door opening, and Frank leaving because he always leaves first.

From nowhere a pillow parts his curtains and hits Sirius squarely in the face.

"Nice one, James."

Peter chuckles.

"Get up you lazy sod."

James orders him with a laugh.

Dragging the pillow of his face Sirius sits up and pokes his head out through the curtains.

The first thing he spots is Remus with ruffled hair and a tooth brush hanging out the side of his mouth.

He smiles.

Remus tries to smile back, but toothpaste leaks from the corner of his mouth and down onto his school shirt.

James glances between the pair and rolls his eyes.

"Get your bony arse up, I'm starving."

James demands.

Sirius hauls himself out of bed and starts to get dressed, while stealing glances at Remus who is using his wand to remove the toothpaste stain.

He really needs a wank.

Sirius that is not...

He tries to think of something else, since the mornings are particularly hard.

His song.

The song for Remus.

He hums the chorus as he drags a t-shirt on under his robes, he'll have a wash after breakfast, since it's the weekend, perhaps he'll push the boat out and have a wank in the bath.

Merlin...

He needs a rhythm section, he looks at James, and someone to play the triangle, he looks at Peter.

This could be a thing, the could start a band, he certainly looks like a rockstar, the wizard version of Marc Bolan...

He really needs a wank now, thoughts of Marc Bolan have pushed him over the edge.

Sirius hovers in the forgiving shadow of his bed.

"You go on, I'll just stay here for a bit."

He says in a strangled voice.

James gives him a knowing look.

"Alright, alright, but don't get any jizz on my bed."

Remus splutters at James' words, while Peter looks disgusted.

James the grabs Remus by the shoulders, although the other boy is much taller and practically forces him out of the dormitory as Peter trails along in their wake.

Sirius throws back his head with a bark of laughter.

Before settling himself back on his bed for that much needed wank.

Remus J Lupin covered in toothpaste.


	2. The Slug Club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Personally I like the idea of Alice being older than Frank, and this pair not really hitting off until they met again as Aurors.  
> So Alice is a 7th year, while Frank is in his 5th year and going out with Dorcus Meadowes.

The hall is relatively empty by the time Sirius finally makes his way down for breakfast, whistling to himself and feeling supremely satisfied.

He's just time to hear the tail end of Remus doing his 'Welsh voice', in Sirius opinion, the world would be a much better place if Remus sounded Welsh all of the time.

The three of them are laughing James, Remus and Peter, as Sirius drops into the seat next to Peter.

They hardly ever sit in this particular combination, but Sirius knows that James has stolen the seat next to Remus to annoy him, so in turn he swipes a piece of toast out of his best friend's grasp, and bites down with a wink.

"So, what's on the agenda, Brenda?"

Sirius mumbles with his mouth full.

"Brenda."

Peter chuckles to himself.

"Hogsmeade."

James says flatly as he loads replacement piece of toast up with far too much marmalade

"Usual Saturday, replenish the stash of dung bombs at Zonkos, eat our own body weight in sweets from Honeydukes and then repair to The Three Broomsticks."

This earns a thumbs up from Sirius.

When he eventually leaves Hogwarts Sirius wants everyday to be just as James has described, only with the added bonuses of his own flat and alcohol.

"I'll have to meet you there."

Remus pipes up, looking more miserable than usual.

"I've got a Slug Club meeting in about,"

He pauses, the direction of his gaze distracted as Lily and Marlene McKinnon rise from the long table.

"...five or so minutes."

"You better have the map then."

James appears to casually pass their map to Remus from under the table, Sirius guesses this from the awkward expression Remus pulls as he attempts just as casually to receive it, but Moony isn't capable of anything approaching casual, and instead he just looks shifty and handsome.

"Slug Club, I don't know why you bother going, I..."

"Lupin, are you coming?"

Sirius is just on the point of getting into his stride on the dangers of being shut up with too many Slytherins, after all he should know better than anyone, when Marlene appears at his elbow and sneers down at him.

She still hasn't forgiven him for intentionally knocking her off her broomstick.

James is openly staring at Lily who is standing a little way off from the table deep in conversation with a girl from Hufflepuff.

"Ah yes, yes."

Remus steals a piece of toast from the toast rack and immediately extricates himself from the bench, hurring off to join Lily, Marlene and the girl from Hufflepuff.

He doesn't even say goodbye, he just leaves the hall in the company of the three girls.

"Don't get jealous."

James warns as if reading his mind.

Feeling deflated Sirius discards his toast, he rests his chin on the palm of his hand and looks as miserable and petulant as he feels.

It strikes Sirius then that he doesn't often have the chance of being alone with just James and Peter.

"I've had an idea."

He tentatively approaches the subject.

James immediately scoffs at this.

"Did it hurt?"

Feeling more childish than usual Sirius sticks out his tongue at his best friend.

"I've urgh,"

With the nerves threatening to get the better of him, Sirius practically spits his words out into James' face.

"IvewrittenasongforMoony."

James blinks.

Peter blinks.

And then a tall, extremely pretty girl with a dreamy, lazy sounding voice says.

"Oh, whose singing, I've got a lovely voice. Haven't I Pete?"

They are four again as Mary Macdonald sits next to Peter.

"Absolutely smashing voice."

They kiss, Peter and Mary, which upsets Sirius stomach.

James gives him a look, and the pair stare at each other until the noise of Peter and Mary's lips smacking together finally stops.

Is that it sounds like when he kisses Remus?

Wormy is a champion, in Sirius' opinion, but how on Earth he's ended up with Mary, who is the prettiest girl at Hogwarts, when he's such a scruffy mess, is anyone's guess.

James looks slightly despondent.

Lily Evans is not the only girl in their house, or their year, or even the school, James could have his pick of girls, and yet, he insists on waiting for her to 'come to her senses' and in the meantime fifth wheeling it with Peter and Mary and Remus and him.

"Whose singing a song?"

Mary asks, popping back into the conversation.

"No-one."

"Sirius."

James betrays him.

"Oh, that's sweet."

Sirius notices the dangerous glint in James' eyes from behind his glasses.

"It's for Lupin."

James adds with a smirk.

Peter sniggers.

Sirius has the impression that he's being ganged up on.

"That's lovely. You know, I think you two are very sweet together."

Mary smiles a dazzling smile, which only serves to underscore the differences between her and Peter in terms of attractiveness.

"Thank you, Mary."

Sirius responds uncomfortably.

"We're off to Hogsmeade later, do you want to round up some friends and come, you can bring Evans."

James proposition Mary hopefully.

"You can help Padfoot with his song."

He quickly adds.

"Well, I'll see what I can do, although I doubt Lily will want to come, since she's planning on ice skating on the lake with Severus."

Oh Merlin, Lily and Snape and a big patch of ice, there goes Hogsmeade and their enjoyable afternoon.

The expression on James' face darkens.

Professor Slughorn is talking, addressing them each in turn, but Remus has stopped listening, he's watching the snow as it falls through the small window opposite him.

The Slug Club consists of himself, Lily, Marlene, Frank, a Hufflepuff 6th year called Verity Smith, Ravenclaw 4th years Dirk Cresswell and Emmeline Vance, who sit on either side of Seraphina Blake, the Gryffindor Head Girl Alice Fortescue, and Slytherin Head Boy Rory McKinnon.

Other than Marlene's older brother Rory, and excluding Professor Slughorn, no-one else from Slytherin house has bothered to show up, not even Sirius brother Regulus, who always attends meetings.

Remus wonders if he should mention this development to Sirius.

"I was very sorry to hear that your dear Mother was taken ill again, last month, Lupin."

It takes Remus a moment to realise the Lupin in question is actually him and that Professor Slughorn is addressing him directly.

"Thank you, Sir.'

He frowns uncomfortably.

"Perhaps, I should give you a tonic to send her."

Slughorn chortles to himself, while a handful of members join in with the laughter, Lily and Emmeline Vance excluded.

Does Lily know, has she guessed about his condition?

Remus has a horrible feeling that Emmeline has worked out the secret behind his monthly absences, given the way she looks at him, as if he's some sort of potions experiment that she's waiting to bring to a boil.

If they have, then both girls have been kind enough not to say anything.

"My Mum is a Muggle."

Remus says flatly.

Slughorn's face is unreadable for a moment, but he quickly moves on from Remus engaging Frank with a hearty smile.

"Longbottom my boy,"

Remus stops listening again, and goes back to watching the snow falling on the other side of the window


	3. Thin Ice

"It happened right there."

Sirius jabs a glove in the direction of the cracked, lighter coloured patch of ice, which sits almost in the centre of the lake.

Remus winces.

"Sniv,"

At this Remus immediately let's go off Sirius' other hand, and turns his back on the lake.

Sirius frowns at this, he clears his throat.

"Snape, fell in, and then I dunno I reckon that Prongs wanted to be a bit of a hero, and,"

Sirius watches the taller boy intently from the corner of his eye.

"Anyway, Evans ended up saving them both, so no harm done."

He finishes weakly, letting both his arms rest simply at his sides.

"And, so, to review, you're categorically saying that none of you,"

Remus gives him a particularly hard stare, which almost immediately softens once Sirius begins to smile.

"...that you didn't thaw the ice under them."

He concludes in almost a whisper.

Sirius' dazzling smile widens as he reaches for Remus' hand once again.

They stand facing opposite directions, Sirius looking out over the lake with fond memories of the mayhem from the previous day, while Remus stares up at the outline of the castle.

Their gloved fingers tangle together.

"Evans was so angry, I thought she was going to hex James right there and then, and I still think she probably would have if, he hadn't been so blue."

"How blue are we talking?"

Remus enquires.

"On a scale of blueness?"

Sirius' eyes flash with mirth, as he thinks about how best to respond to Remus' question.

"Possibly, blueberry blue."

At this Remus immediately disintegrates into laughter, the scars on his face creasing.

Sirius loves the sight of Remus laughing, properly laughing, and not just harrumphing at their antics the way he usually does, like some bloody librarian in training.

The mental image of Remus as some stricked librarian in worn out tweed and elbow patches, does something quite specific to Sirius' brain, well in truth, not just his brain.

He wants to kiss him more than anything, but he holds back, practicing some self control.

.....

Which lasts all of 30 seconds since Sirius doesn't have any self control, none of his family do.

It's all rage, rage against the dying of the light, and then basically collapse in a heap.

Taking Remus by surprise Sirius leans up wraps his arms around his neck and pulls him into a kiss.

Remus' eyes fly wide.

Contrary to expectations it's Remus who is the instigator of their romantic encounters, because he's the one with all the prior kissing experience, having previously kissed a 4th year Ravenclaw student called Amy, at least sixteen times, with tongues.

So consequently he is the one who kisses Sirius, and not the other way around.

The quality of their kisses has improved, since Sirius now, attempts to actually do something with his own tongue.

Sirius throws himself into kissing Remus the way he throws himself into everything else, utterly and completely.

He doesn't want to breathe, he just wants to melt into Remus and...

Then they come up for air, with red cheeks and pounding hearts.

They look at each other and laugh.

"That was better."

Sirius evaluates the performance.

"Humm."

While Remus rocks nervously forward and back on the balls of his heels.

Still a little spellbound by their encounter the boys head off in the direction of Hogsmeade, which had been their original intended destination. 

"I'm sick of The Three Broomsticks,"

Sirius says.

"...plus it feels disloyal to Prongs and Wormy, what with James shut up in the hospital wing with Sniv...SNAPE,"

He corrects himself and then continues.

"...and Wormtail banged up in detention with Mcgonnigal."

That brings Remus mind suddenly back to the 'accident'.

"That's a point, if none of you did anything wrong then why is Peter in detention?"

Sirius evades this question with a shrug.

"I wouldn't lie to you, Moony."

Remus says nothing, and simply fixes him with a look, which speaks volumes.

"Alright, well I'm not lying now. Honest."

They're holding hands, again.

"Have you ever been in The Hog's Head? I heard the bar tender doesn't care if you're underage, that he'll sell booze to anyone."

Remus has a sinking feeling that they will be joining Peter in detention before the day is out.

He tries not to notice the prefect badge that glitters upon his chest.

Remus says nothing but let's Sirius excitedly drag him off in the direction of Hogsmeade and The Hog's Head.


	4. The Divorce

He could see them, not physically, he was on the other side of the castle, while they were in the library, but still he could see them on the map at least.

The two little name scrolls that belonged to two of his best friends Sirius Black and Remus Lupin.

Each time he blinked it seemed as if the pair were closer together and then finally...yep, they were snogging again, this time in the library.

In the actual library of all places, James Fleamont Potter felt scandlised.

Although he is jealous, James is worried more than anything, concerned for the state of The Maurders, as even Peter has found a girlfriend.

Despite the fact that nothing has changed, it's not too late for everything to change.

What if Messers Padfoot and Moony fall out and break-up?

What if he has to choose between them, obviously he'll choose Sirius, because Sirius is his best friend, he'll still miss Remus, but will he be allowed to miss Remus?

And will Peter have to choose Remus, because James has chosen Sirius?

Will he lose Peter as well?

Dirk Creswell is Muggleborn and his parents are divorced, is that the fate that awaits The Maurders, because Sirius and Remus had to go and fall in love?

James is happy for them, that they finally pulled their fingers out and stopped being so bloody miserable.

It's nice. 

It's a bit different, for instance the other day Remus picked fluff from the front of Sirius jumper, he also proceeded to brush dandruff from Peter's shoulders, but the point...James isn't sure of the point he's trying to make anymore, so he just stops.

Wait...no...yes, they're a couple, they do couply things now, off the top of his head he can't think of any examples right at the moment, and Sirius still confides in him before Remus ever hears about anything but...but...but...

James Potter wants a significant other.

He wants a girlfriend.

No, he wants Lily Evans to be his girlfriend.

He wants to be cool and aloof, and failing that, polite around her, but everytime he sees her, he has to wrestle with himself not to go full stag on her.

Lily dislikes him enough as it is, Merlin only knows how she would feel if he went full on Prongs in front of her.

James knows that he has to do something, something to improve himself, not only for Lily, honestly not for Lily at all, but himself...he must change for himself.

Just not today.

He's wandering along, when he feels three familiar shadows falling into line beside him.

"How was detention, Prongsie?"

Sirius asks with a grin, and James notices that his mouth is red and swollen.

"I think it's bloody rich, I might have drowned, now I have detention. Perhaps, it would have been better if I'd drowned."

James says, throwing an arm theatrically across his eyes, his voice filled with mock anguish.

"It serves you right."

Remus chimes in.

James, Sirius and Peter all roll their eyes in unison.

"How did you get away with it, anyway?"

He jabs an accusing figure in Sirius' direction, whose smile widens maliciously.

"Minnie, only gave detention to those who were on the ice at the time of the 'accident', that was you and Wormtail, not me old chap."

James forms a retort in his head, but is interrupted by Remus.

"I thought you said that you had nothing to do with that?"

Sirius shrugs him off.

Nothing has changed.

The Maurders fall into step together.

James and Sirius and Remus and Peter.

No divorce, not today at least.


	5. The Gryffindor Breeding Program

"Just hold still will you."

Mary complains, as she attempts to cover the purple of Remus' black eye with a charm.

Ordinarily with this sort of thing he would have gone straight to Dorcus Meadowes, since she has a skill in charms, which is unsurpassed by anyone else in their year, but he can hear her complaining loudly about another wardrobe disaster, and since Mary is Peter's girlfriend now, Remus feels as if he should do more to include her.

So this is him doing more to include her.

It's not going very well.

Remus feels like the left side of his face is on far, and the panicked expression on Mary's beautiful face is making him worry.

What has she done to his face?

They're almost the same height, Remus hadn't noticed that before, he tries to distract himself and fails.

She looks like a model, the sort that you find in Muggle magazines.

Mary yanks hard on his chin keeping him in place.

They're standing in the Gryffindor common room, while a handful of interested first years and disinterested seventh years mill around them.

They're the first ones ready, and out of their dormitories.

Remus is wearing his new dress robes, while Mary is wearing a Muggle dress in gold.

She glitters as she waves her wand over his eye.

Professor Slughorn has decided to play matchmaker with his favourites an host a 'Saint Valentine's Day Supper Party with Accompanying Music'.

At least that's what the invitation had said.

Remus wonders if Slughorn has decided to try his hand at a captive breeding program, if so he'll be disappointed with the Gryffindor offerings.

Remus is of course taking Sirius.

Frank has paired up with his girlfriend Dorcus.

Lily is attending with Mary, much to James' vocal disappointment.

Marlene will be bringing a 6th year Hufflepuff girl to the party.

Alice Fortescue has a cold, which has caused her nose to swell to twice it's usual size.

And Seraphina Blake appears to be attending the party with the Ravenclaws Emmeline Vance and Dirk Cresswell.

"What have you done to his face?"

James suddenly exclaims, as he explodes into the common room followed by Peter and...

Sirius is wearing dress robes.

Sirius is wearing the finest set of dress robes that Remus has ever seen.

But the only set of dress robes that Sirius owns, he never wears because they are Black family robes and in the colour of Slytherin house.

They sit at the bottom of his trunk getting increasingly stained and mouldy.

Sirius looks...well he always looks beautiful, but tonight...Remus' swallows thickly.

He's barely paying attention as Mary is shunted out of the way and replaced by James, who points his wand at Remus' eye and says something inaudible over the drum beat of Remus' heart.

His face stops burning.

"We're you trying to sabotage my date, Mary?"

Sirius grins.

Mary doesn't get the chance to respond as moments later Lily Evans appears as she slowly pulls a miserable Dorcus along behind her.

Lily looks very pretty in her silver dress, which perfectly compliments the gold of Mary's, and James' mouth hangs open at the sight of her.

Dorcus on the other hand looks ridiculous in dress robes that are covered in large pink, purple and red coloured hearts.

The group assembles around Alice Fortescue who is resplendent in a fluffy dressing gown and slippers, her nose steaming.

Standing between Frank and Dorcus she warns the group in a stuffed up tone.

"Don't do anything that I wouldn't do."

Alice concludes with a sneeze.

As they file out through the portrait hole, Remus feels his heart leap in his chest as Sirius reaches for his hand.


	6. Brothers?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Narcissa Malfoy is a 7th year in this and Regulus Black is a 3rd year.

"So this is it, Slughorn's inner sanctum, you know I did wonder."

Sirius grins as he helps himself voulevant from the tray of a passing server.

"Please don't say things like 'Slughorn's inner sanctum', I've had a traumatic life as it is, I don't need to add,"

Remus doesn't get to conclude his speech as the man of the hour resplendent in crimson velvet robes looms down upon them.

"Ah, Lupin my boy, that's a nasty black eye you have there."

Slughorn says with an attempt at sincerity, which never makes it further up his face than past his lips.

Sirius chews on his voulevant.

"It was an accident."

Remus says lamely.

"Evidently."

Sirius is still chewing away when he feels the wait of Slughorn's gaze fall upon him.

"And who do we have here, nevermind, I can guess, you know, you look remarkably like your Mother."

Sirius shudders, and swallows.

He'd forgotten who Slughorn was and what accompanying Remus to the party would probably mean.

"Such a shame."

Slughorn mutters under his breath.

"Your brother is here, although I suppose that you already know that, he's with your lovely cousin Narcissa."

Of course he is.

Slughorn gestures towards the corner of the room and there Sirius sees the spectres of his family, is younger brother Regulus and their cousin Narcissa, sat side by side and looking contemptuous in only the way a Black can.

Regulus sees him and looks away quickly.

How awlful they are.

"Ah Miss Evans, you're looking simply ravishing tonight."

Slughorn quickly sweeps past them moving towards Lily, who appears to be in deep conversation with Serverus Snape. 

"We can go?"

Remus feels the need to point this fact out, that having showed his face he's now free to leave.

Sirius shakes his head.

"She's a 7th year, so why does she want to hang around with Regulus?"

He's not listening, Remus can tell.

"Well, they are..."

Remus eyes widen in panic as he realises the most logical end to his sentence.

"...family."

Sirius concludes with a disgusted grimace. 

This is not the night that either of them had planned.

Sirius is striding out of the boys toilets when he almost collides with another wizard.

Although the evening didn't begin auspicious, since the music started he feels as if he is in his element, having danced with Mary and the Hufflepuff Verity Smith, and even Remus, once.

It was a slow one, the dance that Remus had shuffled through, so Sirius isn't sure if that counts as dancing.

He's happy, and he's forgotten all about...

Regulus' pale, pallid face stares up at him in surprise, and then his eyes narrow.

"Oh, it's you."

Sirius practically spits.

Regulus' lip curls.

"Won't your boyfriend be missing you?"

It's meant as a jab, and Regulus has no idea how close to the mark that he is.

"I shouldn't think so, my boyfriend is fairly self-reliant."

He grins back.

That's it, that's how he comes out, well to his brother at least, trading barbes outside the boys toilets.

Regulus' eyes widen.

"You. I. You. I don't believe you."

He looks just like their Father, as he wiggles a finger under Sirius' nose.

"Believe what you want Reg, I don't care."

It's true.

"What about the line, the family name?"

Regulus splutters indignantly.

Sirius rests one hand on Regulus' narrow shoulders and as he touches his brother for the first time in possibly years.

"Well, you know what Reg, you're not the spare for nothing, old chum."

He pats Regulus on the cheek, before he strides away with a smile.

Remus has his chin in the palm of his had and his elbow against the table as he watches Lily and Mary dance together with the glitter of fairies above their heads.

He's waiting for Sirius to come back and rescue him from the company of Elphias Doge, who has been going on now for what feels like hours.

Remus can't even remember the subject that has Doge so enraptured.

He tries to focus his eyes and to listen, but every time he does he feels himself drifting further and further from the conversation.

"Alright?"

Never has Remus been more happy to see anyone than when Sirius repears at their table.

He looks flushed and shifty and his breathing as if he's just run a marathon, which is ridiculous, because Sirius doesn't run.

Remus recognises this behaviour for what it is instantly, Sirius has gotten bored and done something utterly stupid.

He starts to panic.

This panic only increases as Sirius asks.

"Shall we go then?"

Remus manages to extricate himself from Doge, and is half way across the room, following behind Sirius when Slughorn suddenly catches him.

"Lupin my boy,"

He winces as Slughorn advance upon him.

"Meet me in the Astronomy Tower."

Sirius gives him a wink and then is gone.

Fleeing the scene of the crime.


	7. The Astronomy Tower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for lots of underage drinking.

"Is this what it feels like when you die?"

Peter croaks weakly from his bed.

"When you die maybe, but we all know that Sirius is going to die from falling over."

Frank chimes in with a hearty chuckle.

"Get stuffed."

Sirius exclaims as he throws a pillow at Frank's fat head, which hits it's target perfectly.

Only when he settles back into the warmth of his mattress does Sirius realise that his body is covered in bruises and wracked with pain.

Perhaps Frank has a point, perhaps he's destined to trip over into his doom.

What an utterly depressing thought.

"What happened?"

James suddenly sits up in his four poster with a blank expression on his face.

"You slick dog, I was wondering when you'd join us."

Sirius teases.

"Verity Smith."

Frank whistles through his teeth.

"Veri...oh, so that did happen then?"

James's blank expression shifts perfectly into a frown, and at this Sirius rolls his eyes, which causes his head to pound.

"Listen it was bound to happen, you couldn't be the only person in this room not to kiss someone ever, even Wormtail has a girlfriend mate. It's normal. You can't save your lips until Evans finally,"

"Loses her mind!"

Frank calls out.

"...comes to her senses."

Sirius continues through gritted teeth, although in truth there's a part of him, more than a part, that agrees with Frank.

James doesn't respond, but sinks back onto his bed with a heavy sigh.

Sirius glances at Remus who is always the voice of prudent advice and annoying nagging, but the lazy, handsome, git is still fast asleep and snoring heavily.

Remus' mouth is hanging open and he looks like a shambles.

And then Sirius recalls how, how, how...there isn't a word big enough or special enough to describe accurately just how Remus had looked the night before as he'd clutched a half full glass of champagne in his hand, while a halo of stars had seemed to swim behind his head.

Perfect, so perfect in fact that Sirius wants to capture the moment forever and bottle it deep inside himself, where no-one will ever be able to take it away from him.

"What do you think Moony will do when he wakes up and realises that his perfect 'no detention' record has been ruined?"

James asks, appearing to recover himself somewhat from the shock of having shared his lips with another girl.

"Die most probably."

Sirius responds simply.

It had been worth it though.

Remus can hear laughter as he makes his way up the steps that lead to the Astronomy Tower.

He had hoped to find Sirius alone for an illicit snogging session, but instead he finds half of Slughorn's party guests milling happily around together, and drinking.

So that's what Sirius had taken from the party, a bottle of champagne, no wonder he'd been so keen to leave.

Someone has enchanted the bottle, so that it never empties.

Remus can hear Dirk Cresswell drunken South London drawl booming across the room, as he chats animated to Marlene McKinnon, Emmeline Vance, Seraphina Blake and the Hufflepuff girl Marlene had brought as her date to the party.

All four girls giggle excitedly, which only causes Dirk to get louder and more expressive.

Dorcus Meadowes is shrieking with that horrible laugh she has, while Frank appears to have one hand over the ear closest to his girlfriend as he talks to Peter.

Peter is here.

How did Peter get here?

And James is sat in a darkened corner snogging the face off the Hufflepuff, Verity Smith.

Wait...what...

Remus does a double take.

And in the centre of all of this stands Sirius a glass in hand, the very master of misrule.

"What's going on?"

Remus asks as he strides into the tower.

"Alright love, fancy a drink?"

Sirius slurs as he waves his wand and somehow a glass ends up in Remus' hand.

"No, I'm not alright, this all has to stop now!"

He tries to keep his voice down, but gives up over trying to be heard above Dorcus and Dirk.

"It's a party, and Regul...Rogerless, whatever, the boy with the stupid name, he's not invited and neither is my cousin, or my Mother or...or...can I kiss you?"

Sirius practically falls into his arms, and against his better judgement, Remus kisses him.

His lips taste like champagne.

When they stop kissing Remus thinks he sees the outline of Lily hovering in the doorway and looking at James and Verity, but when he blinks she's suddenly gone as if she'd been running away.

He let's Sirius go, which is a mistake, as Sirius begins to move further and further away from him.

Remus knows what's coming, because despite being the king of swagger Sirius is also the most clumsy person that he's ever met in real life.

Sirius fumbles over the curtain that usually covers the doorway to the tower, but tonight has been roughly thrown back, and then he trips and disappears back first down the stairs.


	8. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback ahoy this is set during the Christmas in The Various Romantic Adventures of Messrs Padfoot and Moony...if you haven't read that...well read it...  
> I think my Christmas is a mix between James' and Lupins...where I'm terribly spoiled as an old child, but where I also get a ton of second hand books.

Remus eyes dance over the Christmas card finally coming to rest on the x after Sirius' name.

A kiss.

The kiss.

They'd kissed on the very last day before the Christmas holidays, before they'd had to pack up their trunks, although in fairness his trunk had already been packed, and leave the school for three weeks.

It had been a rubbish kiss, full of spittle and the clashing of teeth, but his cheeks still burned at the memory.

"Is that a card from someone special, cariad?"

His Mum asks.

Hope Lupin is bent over the AGA anxiously peering inside the hot depths, Remus joins her and together they look at the goose, which is sitting in the middle of the oven and refusing to be cooked.

"I just don't understand it."

Hope frowns.

"Perhaps your Dad can have a look at it when he gets home."

She says as she closes the AGA door.

They're having another attempt at Christmas dinner since Remus had endured a particularly bad transformation on Christmas Eve, from which it had taken him until Boxing Day to recover.

Today is the 28th December, and things are finally back to normal in the Lupin Household, as normal as they can ever be.

The small kitchen is decorated with tinsel, the odd Christmas card, and paper chains made from old newspapers.

Briefly Remus compares his Christmas with that of his friends.

James who always receives two stockings and a 'BIG' present, which usually turns out to be a new and even more expensive racing broom.

Peter who is usually surrounded by his Muggle cousins and two giant turkeys.

And Sirius...

This is where Remus draws a blank, because other than bemoaning how miserable it is to be with his family, Sirius has never really gone into detail about what his Christmas is actually like.

For instance how many Muggles do they pluck, stuff and eat?

Is he forced to play pass the parcel with his delightful cousin Bellatrix?

Are all their party hats black and green and silver?

He knows that Sirius gets presents because he always returns to school in January with something new that he refuses to use, and then later breaks on purpose.

Compared to that Remus is happy with his two new jumpers and his stack of hardly read books, which had come courtesy of a local charity shop.

The Lupins are by no means rich, actually due to Remus' condition they're fairly poor, with his parents never managing to stay in one place long enough to build up the sort of savings that people of their age should have.

And they're not always happy, again, that's all his fault.

But they do love each other, which is more than can be said for Sirius and his family.

"Is she nice?"

Hope's question throws Remus off balance and drags him back into the kitchen.

Remus considers lying to his Mum, but since he lies to most people all of the time he can't bring himself to do it.

"Mum, see the thing is there,"

His throat constricts.

", the she, well the she is actually a him, as in he."

It's too late to take it back now.

His Mum's face is unreadable.

"Does he know?"

That you like him?

That you're a werewolf?

Remus nods to both these answers.

Something lifts on her face.

"I know I'm not supposed to say this with Women's Lib an all, but I always thought that a boy might be able to cope with your condition better than a girl."

Remus wraps his arms around his Mum, who hugs him back tightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also this is just me, but I would love to see the Welsh Rock Godess Cerys Matthews as Remus' Mum.


	9. The Best Detention Ever!

The following students will be spending detention in the Forbidden Forest under the supervision of Rubeus Hagrid Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts.

Sirius Black-Gryffindor.  
Seraphina Blake-Gryffindor.  
Dirk Cresswell-Ravenclaw.  
Lily Evans-Gryffindor.  
Frank Longbottom-Gryffindor.  
Remus Lupin-Gryffindor.   
Mary Macdonald-Gryffindor.  
Marlene McKinnon-Gryffindor.  
Dorcus Meadowes-Gryffindor.  
Peter Pettigrew-Gryffindor.  
James Potter-Gryffindor.  
Verity Smith-Hufflepuff.  
Emmeline Vance-Ravenclaw.  
Clemency Wong-Hufflepuff.

10 points will be deducted from Gryffindor, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw for each student, with an additional 50 points removed from Gryffindor on account of Sirius Black almost breaking his neck.

"But not quite."

Sirius whispers under his breath.

James stifles a laugh behind his hand, trying to pass it off as a cough, which earns him a murderous glare from Lily.

"We've got absolutely no bloody chance at the house cup again this year, thanks to you."

Marlene addresses Sirius through clenched teeth.

"Nobody made you come to the party."

Sirius shoots back, never missing the opportunity to argue with Marlene.

"He did."

Marlene points at Peter, who turns several shades of red.

Remus watches this exchange from the corner of his eye as the heads of Gryffindor (Professor Mcgonnigal), Hufflepuff (Professor Sprout) and Ravenclaw (Professor Flitwick) join Hagrid outside his hut.

Professor Mcgonnigal looks particularly annoyed.

"You are required to assist Hagrid in the collection of Unicorn tail hair. Please seperate into pairs."

Into pairs, this would be a challenge.

"Fancy it Evans, a nice stroll around the forest?"

James waggles his eyebrows at Lily, who immediately retorts with her usual.

"I'd rather have my eyes pecked out by crows."

Which is a bit extreme.

"Oh come on, you've got such nice eyes."

Verity Smith the girl who James had kissed at the party had been moving towards him, obviously keen to pair up, but after watching the interaction between James and Lily she appeared to change her mind with a frown, teaming up with her Hufflepuff housemate instead.

Lily forcefully links arms with her best friend Marlene.

Peter drifts towards Mary with a concerned look on his chubby face as Dirk Cresswell strides towards her, but James drags him back by the collar of his robes.

"We're a foursome. "

James tells Professor Mcgonnigal as she appears before them.

"Macdonald you go with Potter."

Professor Mcgonnigal points at Mary, whose large blue eyes widen in surprise at being addressed.

"Pettigrew you go with Cresswell."

Both Peter and Dirk appear disappointed by the order, as they miserably stand together.

Remus waits for the command to be separated from Sirius, but to his surprise Professor Mcgonnigal moves past them.

He opens his mouth to speak, but Sirius catches him by the hand, and he quickly closes it again.

Two things occur to him, the first is that they're going to collect absolutely no tail hairs, the second is to wonder if Professor Mcgonnigal thinks that he's some sort of good influence on Sirius, which of course he isn't.

Against expectations they have collected three whole tail hairs, they've also snogged for thirty minutes and Sirius has transformed into Padfoot once, and Remus may or may not have thrown him a stick...alright they've been playing fetch, which is a bit odd granted, but...but...actually there's no adequate rebuke to that.

Remus hears a familiar pop as Padfoot disappears and Sirius comes bounding over in place of the large, bear sized dog.

"Does it hurt?"

Remus asks, recalling his own painful transformations, when his bones snap and his face elongates.

"Na. I have to be careful though, not to go full hound."

Sirius throws his head back and floods the cold night air with a howl of laughter.

He advances on Remus pressing him roughly against the bark of a nearby tree.

Remus grins expectantly down at him as Sirius' smile widens.

Every time Sirius touches him it's like an electric pulse suddenly buzzing around his body.

When they kiss this time it's harsh and excitable and awkward.

"Ow."

Remus mumbles against Sirius' lips.

"Ow?"

Sirius pulls back suddenly, his face flooded with concern.

"Something is poking me."

Remus concludes.

Sirius practically dissolves into a fit of laughter, which is so intense that Remus has to hold him up.

He rolls his eyes.

"No, not like that."

Sirius waggles his eyebrows suggestively, a gesture, which he's either copying from James, or the other way around.

"It's a branch, I think, you idiot."

Remus says as he tries to keep himself from laughing.

"Thanks for the compliment."

Sirius winks.

A shared giggling fit erupts.


	10. On Quidditch and Fighting With Your Hetrosexual Life Partner

Sirius feels wired as he bounces on his heels, backwards, forwards, repeat.

Playing Quidditch always gets the blood pumping especially when it's a game against Slytherin, but somehow knowing that Remus is up in the stands watching him, as his actual boyfriend and cheering him on to win, is something else altogether.

And he absolutely loves it.

They should always do this, forever.

"We need to have a birthday party for Moony."

Sirius blurts out, because the effort of not speaking is too much for him.

James is tightening the strap on his arm guard, and for a while Sirius wonders if he has heard him.

"I said,"

"I heard you. I'm just wondering why we suddenly have to have a party for Moony turning 15, when you never suggested anything like that for me?"

James sounds annoyed.

"We went to The Three Broomsticks."

Sirius says.

James mood doesn't lift.

"He won't like it."

James points out, as he slips on his head guard, tightening the strap under his chin.

"Yes, he will."

This is the closest they have ever come to an argument in the history of their friendship and Sirius doesn't like it.

"No, he won't."

James repeats with a firmness in his tone that causes Sirius to wonder if he isn't jealous.

"Yes he,"

Sirius doesn't get any further as Marlene strides into their tent already fully dressed in her Quidditch uniform.

"This is the boys changing rooms, Marlene."

James grimaces at her.

"Oh please save your blushes, as if either of you have got anything I would want to see."

Marlene's face is suffused with a look of disgust.

"I just came to reiterate the fact that we better win today, I'm not going to let my sodding brother and his stupid house get their hands on the house cup and our Quidditch cup."

For the first time in his life Sirius finds himself agreeing with Marlene, and this fact throws him so off balance that he forgets about his petty disagreement with James.

"Alright, we just came to wish you good luck."

And the appearance of Remus, Peter and Mary pushes it entirely from his mind completely.

He's smile is suddenly so wide that his face aches, while Padfoot's tail mentally wags, if not physically.

Mary let's go of Peter's arm and immediately rushes over to Marlene, where the two girls fall into a giggly chatter.

Sirius feels the weight to James gaze pressing into him, so rather than pull Remus into a drippy snog, which can definitely wait until later, he reaches for his hand.

They hold hands, Sirius and Remus, as the four boys stand in a tight knot.

"Don't get knocked out by any stray Quaffles."

Remus says with the hint of a blush colouring his cheeks.

"Blugers."

Sirius, James and Peter all correct him in unison.

Sirius makes a mental note to actually sit down with Remus one day and teach him about the beautiful game of Quidditch.

He tightens his grip on Remus' hand.

Madame Hooch interrupts the moment by striding into the changing room.

"Potter, Black, McKinnon, the rest of your team are waiting, or do you in attend them to play the match without you?"

She barely takes any notice of the fact that Marlene is standing in the boy's changing rooms, however she does appear to spot Remus, Peter and Mary.

"Who are all these little people!"

She suddenly exclaims, referring to Remus and Mary as 'little' despite the fact that they both tower over her.

"Good luck."

Sirius watches as the trio leave, never taking his eyes off Remus' slumped shoulders until he's finally out of sight.

Despite Marlene's inspiring pep talk they lose the match, however this fact doesn't stop Sirius from snogging the face off Remus the moment he next sees him.


	11. The Heir's Hair

Remus likes Sirius' hair.

End of statement.

He likes how thick it is.

How soft it is.

And how it falls so perfectly that he wonders if Sirius has performed a charm spell on it, it's the sort of thing that he would do.

Sirius is vane.

Remus has never been vane in his life, he wouldn't know where to start, certainly not with his face.

He barely looks at himself if he can help it, and if he could he would probably wear a brown paper bag over his head with two eye holes cut out.

But that's against the uniform policy.

And even more people would look at him as he walked around with a bag over his head.

His face is covered with scars, mostly self inflicted, but the two longest lines on his face are from Sirius, and the night when something happened in the Shack that none of them will tell him about, not James, or Peter and especially not Sirius.

Remus almost lost his eye, the left one.

His Mum cried when she'd seen his face when he went home at the Christmas holidays.

Anyway Sirius hair...

Remus likes the way it feels between his fingers, like silk.

He yanks on Sirius hair when James and Peter are occupied with something else or talking or...

Sirius likes it when he pulls his hair.

He makes a noise in the back of his throat, which instantly sets Remus' brain off into a spasm.

Remus likes Sirius' hair.


	12. Professor R J Lupin Will See You Now

"What is wrong with the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher?"

Remus fumes.

He doesn't wait for anyone else to get a word in before he's speaking again, which is very unlike him.

Sirius likes it.

He likes stressed and grumpy Remus.

He likes the way the top of his head goes slightly red and sweaty.

He likes the way he ruffles his hands through his hair.

"I merely pointed out,"

"Your hand wasn't up."

Sirius points out with his tongue firmly in his cheek.

"But he was doing it all wrong."

"Yea, but your hand wasn't up."

James joins in, sharing a wicked smile with Sirius.

Remus' Welsh accent gets stronger when he's annoyed, and something deep inside Sirius melts.

"It's WRONG,"

Remus' voice cracks a little.

"...to teach a room full of young people, so close to their O.W.L.s such absolutely misleading rubbish,"

"Young people, Moony you sound like a teacher."

James giggles.

Remus as a teacher, Merlin, Sirius can picture it.

All the blood in his body gets siphoned elsewhere, and suddenly he feels himself slipping out of the corridor and off into his fantasies.

Remus in Professor robes.

Remus giving out detentions.

Remus giving him a detention.

And pulling his hair...

Merlin, he's harder than one of Hagrid's rock cakes.

Professor R.J Lupin will see you now.


	13. Air Quotes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's 5 in the morning and I can't sleep, so enjoy I guess.

Sirius knows that James Potter is wrong about his birthday party idea.

This is an exceptional occurrence, and one, which could probably do with being noted down for posterity, but he's too busy to bother digging his quill and parchment out from his bag.

He's snogging Remus.

He's snogging Remus under the willow that sits next to the edge of the black lake.

He's snogging Remus openly, in public, people can probably see them, and, and...bloody hell he has to breathe.

Sirius rolls away from Remus with a contented smile and utterly breathless.

"That was a lot better."

He observes as he runs one hand through the back of his hair.

It turns out that no-one is around them, because it's only the first week of March and it's still too cold to be casually hanging around the grounds.

Most people, and this includes James and Peter, weirdly, have more sense, and are hunkered down in The Great Hall enjoying the roaring fires.

Sirius can see the steam from his breath hanging in the air.

But despite this he doesn't feel cold.

"Are you grading our kisses?"

Remus asks with what sounds like genuine interest, he's such a swot.

"10 points to Gryffindor for overall improvement."

Sirius grins.

He can feel the dew wet grass soaking into the back of his robes as he stares up at the pale blue sky.

Remus rests his head next to his.

Fumbling blindly across the grass Sirius reaches for the warmth of Remus' hand.

Their fingers tangle together.

"What do you want to do for your birthday, Moony?"

Sirius asks.

Of course he knows Remus better than James, he has after all spent a good twenty minutes with his tongue down his throat.

"I haven't given it much thought."

Something in Sirius' brain stalls.

"We could go into Hogsmeade and,"

"Don't you want a party?"

Sirius cuts him off.

"No."

Remus replies simply.

No.

No.

No?

But that can't be, because Sirius wants to host a party on behalf of Remus' birthday, and he can't do that if Remus doesn't actually want one.

"The last 'party' we had you almost broke your neck."

The air quotes, which Remus forms around the word 'party' particularly sting.

Sirius raises himself up on his elbow to stare down at the boy beside him.

"Yea, but that was nothing, and before that happened you were having fun right?"

A doubtful expression forms on Remus' face.

"I don't know, I'd only been in the Astronomy Tower for two minutes, there wasn't much to enjoy before you fell down the stairs."

Sirius' heart sinks.

"I was drunk."

"I know."

Remus smiles up at him.

"I don't want to be the centre of attention. I'd much rather just go into Hogsmeade with you and Prongs and Wormtail, where you can all lavish me with gifts and rounds of butterbeer."

Remus laughs at this, which causes the scars on his face to crinkle.

While Sirius feels oddly detached, and he begins to feel the cold for the first time.

It's that fourth serving of pumpkin juice that has sent Remus rushing off to the toilets for most of the night.

Honestly, he must have the world's smallest bladder, because this is ridiculous.

So far he's managed to slip out of bed without waking Sirius, who has been hogging the covers and accidentally elbowing him in the face.

They don't often share a bed, but when they do it's usually Remus', and Sirius always steals the covers and elbows him in the face.

James and Peter and Frank don't seem to mind or even notice.

Remus is just rushing back across the common room when the sound of a tear filled sniff alerts him to the fact that he's not alone.

He wants to go back to his bed to be half frozen and roughly woken by an elbow to the ribs, but the prefect part of his brain suddenly kicks in.

So far he's been a useless excuse for a prefect.

He pulls his wand from the waist band of his pyjamas.

"Lumos."

The dark common room is lit in shadows by the light from the tip of his wand.

He sees the startled white face of Seraphina Blake and swallows thickly.

Something about Seraphina always fills Remus with the sort of panic he associates with being trapped in a completely airless room.

Remus is breathing hard once he makes it finally back into the dormitory.

The sound of James and Peter's snores carry through the air, as he carefully navigates around the room in darkness.

Remus peels back the heavy curtains, which surround his four poster bed, but to his surprise Sirius is missing.

He peers across the room and manages to make out the shadowy outline of Sirius, who is now lying back in his own bed.

The sheets are stone cold as Remus slips between the exhausted and a little confused.


	14. We're Lupins!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because Sirius is a drama queen...  
> Foreshadowing ahoy.

"Shut up you prat!"

James snorts with laughter, as he drags his pyjama top up and over his head.

Sirius is sitting at the bottom of Remus' bed with his Gryffindor tie wrapped around his bed and all the buttons on the front of his own pyjama top are in the wrong holes.

James moves over to the small mirror that hangs next to his bed and studies his reflection paying close attention to his hair and the spots on his chin.

"Wouldn't want the barnet to go flat."

Frank teases.

James makes a huffing noise and Sirius manages to hit him in the back of his head with a pair of Remus' folded up socks.

Remus folds his socks.

"Chuck us a chocolate frog, Wormtail."

Sirius asks Peter who is sat on his own bed surrounded by Honeydukes products.

With a wave of his stubby wand Peter floats a chocolate frog towards Sirius, and Sirius notes that he's using non verbal magic.

Even he hasn't mastered non-verbal spells yet.

Peter is performing a non-verbal spell with such ease and dexterity that Sirius can't help but wonder why his friend performs so badly in all their actual classes.

Performance anxiety.

Sirius reaches up and grabs the frog biting the head off immediately.

The taste of the rich chocolate mixes poorly with the tang of his toothpaste, and he discards the rest of the frog against Remus' pillow.

Frank is the first one to crawl under the covers and without even a cursory 'goodnight' he's asleep within moments.

The bedside lamp in his corner of the room having gone out.

"How long does it take Moony to actually have a piss?"

James asks as his hand through the back of his hair, before climbing into his own bed.

Peter immediately bursts into excitable and embarrassed giggles at this.

"I told him not to drink all that pumpkin juice."

Sirius observes with a sage nod.

Speak of the devil Remus finally returns to the dormitory, rushing through the door letting it bang shut behind him, which causes Frank to complain in his sleep.

Remus stands there with his hunched shoulders and his worn out dressing gown and Sirius thinks it's probably one of the hottest things he has ever seen in his life.

"Myrtle has flooded our bathroom again, I had to trek all the way down to the prefects bathroom to use the loo. I wish she'd stop travelling through the pipes."

Remus moans bitterly as he crosses the room.

Sirius stays exactly where he is sitting at the foot of Remus' bed as the taller boy moves towards him.

"It can't be much fun,"

James pauses mid sentence to yawn.

"...being dead and stuck in a loo, no wonder she's a bit mental."

"Is she though?"

Remus responds as he slips off his dressing gown, placing it neatly on the chair next to his bed.

"She's bonkers Moony."

Sirius says as he grins up at him.

Remus rolls his eyes.

"That's not what I meant. I meant, is she stuck, all the other ghosts are free to roam around the castle, and she can travel through the pipes."

"I think she does it to be annoying."

Remus concludes as he slips between the sheets.

Sirius turns to face him, but remains sat at the bottom of his bed trying not to look too expectant.

He watches as Remus' face colours slightly as he asks in a low voice.

"Do you want to,"

Sirius doesn't wait for him to finish as he slides into the bed next to him smiling happily.

"Are you going to keep the tie on?"

"Absolutely."

Sirius replies with a voice filled with mirth.

Remus rolls his eyes again, but this time he has a more indulgent look on his face.

"Look at you, you look like an old married couple."

James chuckles.

Remus draws his bed curtains with a wave of his wand.

Once they are 'relatively' alone, Remus tugs the tie off Sirius' head and pulls him into a kiss.

"I can hear kissing!"

James complains.

"Alright, there Mr Black."

Sirius teases as he rests his head against Remus' spare pillow.

"We're Lupins."

Remus adds firmly.

They rest their heads together, and Sirius wishes he could share Moony's bed every night.

His eyelids start to feel heavy, and just as he's on the point of falling asleep Remus suddenly pipes up.

"Is this melted chocolate on my pillow?"

The negatives of sharing a bed with Remus John Lupin are as follows:

\- the fidgeting.

\- the fact that he wakes up every half an hour to use the loo. 

Okay, that's a little extreme, but just when Sirius is enjoying a particular interesting dream, which involves a never ending supply of chocolate frogs and a river made from molten lava acid pops, which he has to navigate using only his wits and his school tie, when he gets rudely awaken by Remus, who is obviously trying very hard not to wake him as he climbs out of THEIR bed.

Sirius pretends to still be asleep as Remus disappears through the curtains.

He must fall asleep again at some point because when he next becomes aware he notices that Remus' side of the bed is still empty.

His side of the bed is cold.

Knowing Remus he's probably slipped over in the flooded bathroom and is probably lying face down in a pool of his own blood, no wait, that's what tends to happen to Sirius.

Yawning hard he gets out of bed.

He doesn't bother to find his wand, which is somewhere on his own four poster and instead he stumbles across the room, stubbing his toe only a handful of times in total.

He's half way down the stone staircase that leads from the dormitories and down to the common room when he hears the sound of talking.

"Oh, I didn't wake you, did I?"

Seraphina says with a sniffle.

Just go back to bed, a voice in Remus' head warns him.

Out of all the people to end up with in a darkened common room Seraphina Blake is undoubtedly the worst, since Remus is horribly aware of how much she fancies him.

It's embarrassing.

He is embarrassed, since other than Sirius, Remus doubts he has the potential to inspire lust in anyone.

"No, not at all, Seraphina are you..."

Don't do it, the voice in his head screams.

"...alright?"

Too late.

She sniffs.

"It's silly, I don't know why I'm crying."

That clears that up then.

Remus takes a step towards her.

"Would it help to talk about it?"

No, please no.

Seraphina nods tearfully.

Remus makes his way around the sofa and settles himself on the cushions, as far away from Seraphina as he can possibly be while still sharing the sofa with her.

"My Dad sent me an owl,"

She says thickly.

"...he's getting married, again."

Remus feels his mouth forming a silent 'oh'.

"I knew this was coming, and I do like her, she has a son, he's a bit older than you, and a Muggle,"

Seraphina babbles away.

"...but I, well it's always been just me and Dad. My Mum died when I was just a baby, she, this, this is her wand."

She holds up the wand in her hand and starts to cry again.

Remus can't think of anything worse than being a parent and leaving a baby alone in the world.

The guilt.

The fear.

He doesn't want...can't have...children.

It's academic now.

He moves towards her and rests a hand cautiously on her shoulder.

He feels her whole body stiffen.

"Things are going to change."

Seraphina begins to sob again, and Remus feels hopelessly lost.

"I'm sure your Mum would be very happy to see your Dad making a new life for the pair of you?"

Where is this coming from, the words, it's as if they appear fully formed in his head.

"Do you really?"

Seraphina says with a gasp.

"Do you really?"

Sirius practically boils as he realises that Seraphina Blake is the person that Remus sat up with and talking to in the middle of the night.

He hates her, the way she stares at Remus like some pathetic, love sick puppy.

See how you'd like your dream date boyfriend once a month, Sirius thinks bitterly to himself.

Everyone knows, everyone knows that she fancies Remus, even Remus knows.

"Yes,"

He hears Remus cough and clear his throat.

"...of course."

Sirius creeps further down the stairs eager to get a better look at the pair.

In the light of Remus' wand he can just about make them out, if he squints.

They're sitting next to each other, on the sofa and Moony, he's touching her.

Sirius reaches for his own wand, to, to hex the pair of them, but he's left the bloody thing somewhere on his bed like an idiot.

We're Lupins.

He's never felt so, so, so unhappy.

"Thank you, Remus."

When everyone else, excluding himself and James and Peter, always call him Lupin, she has the temerity to call him by his first name.

A red rage of fury swims over Sirius, and he knows in that moment he must look just like his Mother.

He can't...

He has to do something...

He goes back upstairs and flings himself across his own bed, where his wand jabs him painfully in the ribs.

Moments later Remus jogs breathlessly back into the dormitory.


	15. That Boy Needs Therapy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so nothing happens in this chapter, I just really like writing The Mauders interactions with the other 5th year Gryffindors.  
> What do you think of my versions of Marlene, Lily, Mary, Dorcus, Frank? Annoying tooo much?  
> Let me know in the comments.

"Get up then lovebirds."

James' head pokes through Remus' bed curtains, excited and expectant all at once.

His expression falls a little at the obvious lack of Sirius.

"Where's Padfoot?"

James asks with a slight frown.

Remus doesn't know how to respond, since he's still not sure what happened the night before, perhaps Sirius finally got fed up with his constant trips to the loo?

He shrugs and drags a hand through the back of his hair as he tries to form some sort of reply.

"Sirius and Peter have already gone down to breakfast."

Frank informs them, before he slips out of the dormitory a towel slung over his shoulders.

"You didn't have an argument did you?"

James asks, his eyes suddenly wide behind his glasses, and his voice sounding particularly small and childlike.

Remus shakes his head.

Sirius stares down at his breakfast feeling miserable and listless, and with what feels like a piano wire being tightened in the back of his head.

He hasn't slept at all, he's just stared into the darkness and imagined all the ways that Remus has betrayed him with Seraphina.

Perhaps he had fallen asleep at some points, because his visions had been particularly vivid.

Peter is sat next to him babbling away and spraying him with toast crumbs.

He's never spent this much time alone with Wormtail, without James or Remus as buffers.

Peter is annoying.

But then again, so is everyone else.

Sirius catches sight of Seraphina Blake, who is sat on the Ravenclaw table huddled between Emmeline Vance and Dirk Cresswell.

Ravenclaw can keep her.

"I miss the days, when we had to sit on our own house tables for breakfast."

He mutters.

"It's breakfast, we have literally, never done that in the whole time we've been at school, what the hell are you talking about!"

Marlene remarks, as she drags her attention away from Clemency Wong, the 6th year Hufflepuff, who is sat by her side.

The two girls are holding hands.

Dorcus Meadowes and Mary Macdonald both laugh at him.

Sirius is just about to tell Marlene to shut her face when James and Remus make an appearance in the Great Hall.

Sirius goes back to staring at his breakfast as Remus settles himself opposite.

Remus does everything he can think of to try and catch Sirius' eye, but fails, and then sort of gives up.

"Cheer up you miserable git."

James chuckles, as he leans across the table snatching up the marmalade.

"Did Moony kick you in your sleep?"

Remus turns scarlet at James' teasing comment.

"Are you two sharing a bed?"

Dorcus asks with interest, leaning in against James' elbow.

Remus can't bring himself to speak, and he wishes that he could just fall into a hole, that the floor if the Great Hall would swallow him up.

"They're like a married couple."

James tells Dorcus.

"Frank, did you know about this?"

Remus stares hard at his empty plate as he listens to the chatter around him.

"What babe?"

Frank replies, without a hint of interest in his voice.

"Well it's not fair, we're not allowed to share a bed. How come they can?"

Dorcus demands.

Remus can practically hear the volume of Frank's shrug without ever even looking at him.

"I don't want to share a dormitory with Frank, no offense Frank."

Lily pipes up for the first time.

"None taken."

Frank says.

Remus can hear the beat of his own heart pounding through his ears, louder and louder and louder, as he waits for Sirius to come up with something hilarious or cutting to diffuse the tension at the table.

Sirius doesn't say anything to rescue them, and Remus starts to wonder what is wrong with him.

"Well Evans, Dorcus, you ladies are always welcome to spend the night in our dormitory."

James chortles through a mouth filled with toast.

"You to Mary."

James adds quickly.

"I'd rather sleep outside, in a blizzard, with a blanket made of nettles."

Lily shoots back.

"We can but dream."

James' words cause a smile to form in the corner of Remus' mouth.

With a great rush of blood to his head Remus lifts his head, and finds that everyone is more interested in their own conversations or breakfasts or both, than they are in his and Sirius' sleeping arrangements.

The conversation has moved on.

He reaches for a piece of toast and as he does he notices that Sirius is still silently glaring down at his own plate, he hasn't moved since Remus joined him at the table.

Keeping a cautious eye on Dorcus, Remus leans forward and whispers.

"Padfoot, is everything alright?"

You're not ill are you, Remus thinks, but doesn't say, because he's a coward.

Sirius lifts his head for the first time and...

"Which one of you did it?"

Alice Fortescue, the Head Girl, appears at Peter's elbow distracting Remus.

"Pray tell of what doth thow speak fair maiden?"

James teases her.

Alice's face hardens.

"You know that im probably going to be the first Head Girl to leave Hogwarts with her house in negative points!"

She bemoans.

"I don't know what you're laughing about, Longbottom."

Alice growls at Frank who has chosen an inopportune moment to breathe.

The ends of Frank's large ears go very read, as he attempts to hide behind his girlfriend, Dorcus.

"This is just the sort if thing that they look at when it comes to applications for the Auror office. You are all ruining my life!"

Remus feels something change at the table as James and Marlene regard Alice with sudden interest, both of them having long harboured ambitions to enter the profession of Dark Wizard hunting themselves.

Sirius wants to be an Auror as well, but he seems to be paying little attention to anything this morning.

"Are you going to be an Auror, Alice?"

James questions, and Remus watches as something in Alice's demeanor becomes a lot less annoyed.

"I have an interview with Alistor Moody on the 8th August, subject to my N.E.W.T.s."

Alice says with pride.

"Congratulations Alice."

Lily grins happily.

Her congratulations are joined quickly by the rest of the table, so that by the end of it Alice appears to be so overwhelmed and smiley, that she seems to have forgotten the fact that she'd come over to tell them off in the first place.

Remus watches her leave with a spring in her step.

"Well done Evans, flattery works ever time."

James says as soon as Alice is out of earshot.

"I know."

Lily replies with a wicked grin.

It's a move worthy of Sirius, but the fact that it comes from Lily makes it even more impressive.

"Do you really think they look at your school record when you apply to the auror office?"

Marlene wears a concerned expression as she addresses the table.

"I think they'll be more likely to mark you down for having a stinking Slytherin for a brother."

James says without thinking.

Ordinarily Marlene would pull her wand, but she's clearly taken onboard Alice's warning so instead she leaves the table in a temper followed by Clemency.

"What is wrong with you?"

Lily demands, and James can do little more than stutter.

She turns her attention to Remus, the expression on her face softening.

"Would you like to go for a walk at lunch, Lupin?"

James mouth drops open.

Remus nods, Sirius throws his spoon across the table and Lily leaves to catch up with Marlene and Clemency.


	16. Freudian Nightmare Fuel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I just can't sleep.

The wind is so cold against his face that Remus can feel the scarred skin across his cheeks burn.

"It's easy to forget how beautiful it is here."

Lily says, from behind her Gryffindor scarf, which is wrapped up almost to the tip of her nose.

They're standing on the covered bridge with it's uneven floor and staring out over the grounds.

The sky is a faint blue and dotted with the occasional rain cloud.

Gazing off into the horizon it feels as if they are the only two people in Hogwarts or perhaps even on the planet.

Sometimes Remus wishes that they were, since Lily is the best person he thinks that he will probably ever meet.

If it wasn't for James...

If it wasn't for Sirius...

He likes her.

He likes her in the way that he knows isn't entirely appropriate.

"I hope you know that neither James or Sirius are talking to me now."

But then Sirius hasn't been speaking to him all morning.

Lily has a habit of snorting when she laughs.

"Good."

She adds firmly.

She tucks her arm in Remus', and they both lean their full weight against wood, which appears extremely rotten and unsteady.

Yet it doesn't give way.

"I'm sorry that we don't see that much of each other outside of Slug Club."

Remus hasn't given this much thought, but Lily is right, outside of Slug Club and the odd shared prefect duty, the time he has spent with Lily he can just about roughly count on three fingers.

This being one of the fingers.

"You don't come to the frog choir practices anymore."

Remus shrugs.

"Dylan Thomas died."

Both the poet and his toad are no longer in the land of the living.

Lily giggles.

Remus has almost forgotten what it's like to spend time outside the company of his fellow Maurders, it's different.

"You know Lupin,"

Lily pops the bubble of comfortable silence that has risen between them.

"Hhumm."

He says from the back of his throat.

"...you can always tell me anything. You can trust me."

So, this is why she's brought him here.

His eyes drift down to the outline of the Whomping Willow as it sways madly in the breeze.

He swallows.

"I'm in love with Sirius."

That's not what he'd expected himself to say, he'd expected some long rambling confession about his lycanthropy, but instead he's gone and said that.

Lily seems surprised by this as well.

"Oh."

Remus turns his head to look at her and the bridge of her nose is wrinkled.

"That's serious."

Lily says.

It's an obvious joke, but they both end up laughing.

"None of them deserve you."

Lily says, once the laughter has subsided.

If only she knew that it was the other way around, that a monster like Remus Lupin doesn't deserve such brilliant and loyal friends.

"They're not that bad, honestly."

It's a terribly weak defense, so he tries again.

"They're better than you'll ever know."

Lily's green eyes widen at this, and Remus wonders if she knows what he's trying and failing to say in a roundabout way.

"They're bullies."

She doesn't.

But she's not wrong, James, Sirius and Peter are bullies, and the fact that he allows them to go on in such a way makes him complicit and a bully by default.

Remus bristles at this.

"Have you had this conversation with Mary?"

Lily rolls her eyes.

"You can't have a proper conversation with Mary, and anyway, she won't hear a word against Peter. I think she only likes him because he reminds her of her Dad."

Remus doesn't know what to do with that particular slice of Freudian nightmare fuel, so he does what he always does best, and pretends that he hasn't heard.

"Aren't you worried that he'll break your heart?"

Lily asks in a small voice.

Of course Sirius Black will break his heart.

"I think it's probably inevitable."

They both frown.

Another silence descends and this time Lily rests her head gently against his shoulder.

"When did life get so complicated?"

She asks wistfully.

Remus' life has never been uncomplicated, but for her he plays along and shrugs.

"I like someone."

Lily admits and Remus is utterly flabbergasted.

Who?

When?

Where?

How?

And also again...who?

Who definitely seems the most important question to ask.

But Remus doesn't press her for any more information, after all she hadn't asked him about his condition out right.

They stare at one another.

"It's complicated."

Lily says after a beat, and the adds.

"He's different."

It's not James then, Remus thinks to himself.

"It probably won't even come to anything because I don't think he likes me that way, and even if he did I don't like the company that he's started to keep, Sytherin,"

It's Snape.

It can't be Snape.

Creepy, greasy haired Snape and Lily, they'll make as odd a couple as Peter and Mary, or come to think of it him and Sirius.

James will murder Snape for certain.

Are they all going to end up in Azkaban because of this?

Lily draws back from him a little realising that she has gone and said too much.

It is Snape.

Merlin.

"Lily, I won't tell James, I promise."

He won't tell Sirius either, since that's basically just another route to James.

Lily opens her mouth to speak, but she's interrupted by the shouts of an excited gaggle of first years as they rush past them.

"I heard that Serious Black is duelling a forth year Ravenclaw, right now."

It's Sirius, but Remus doesn't bother with the correction.

"I hope she beats him, he's so mean."

One of the girls pipes up.

Lily fixes him with a pointedly look, and they both follow along with the wake of the crowd of first years.


	17. Sirius Black vs ?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emmeline Vance is mixed race, Jewish and like all good Ravenclaws pansexual.  
> Because one person can be all of the things.

Emmeline was half way through telling Dirk and Seraphina about her cousin's bar mitzvah an event at which half of the Vance family, including herself came down with food poisoning, when she feels the jinx hit her firmly in the back between her shoulder blades.

Seraphina screams.

While Emmeline feels the stab of a dozen or so spines erupting from her back.

Reaching for her wand Emmeline grits her teeth in fury as she turns to face her attacker and sees the 5th year Gryffindor, Sirius Black standing at the opposite end of the corridor with his wand drawn and his mouth handing open in surprise.

"I didn't...it wasn't you...,I..."

Sirius stutter lamely.

Ignoring the pain in her back Emmeline tightens her grip on her wand and casts.

"Confringo."

Sirius is just rounding the corner when he sees her, Seraphina Blake who is giggling away alongside Dirk Cresswell and Emmeline Vance.

Without thinking Sirius feels the heavy weight of his wand in his hand as he replays in his head the conversation he had overhears between Remus and Seraphina.

He wants to...he wants to...

The spell spews from his wand, almost without him casting it, although he does cast it, of course he casts it.

He watches the jet of light fly towards it's target.

And then Sirius' eyes widen in panic as at the very last moment, Emmeline takes at step in front of Seraphina, and is hit firmly in the back by his jinx.

It wasn't meant for her.

An invisible knot tightens in his gut as he watches spines explode from Emmeline's back, as the petite black girl doubles over in pain.

Seraphina's scream rips through the air.

Blood rushes to his ears, as his head pounds.

He takes a step forward but before he has a chance to do, well he's not sure what to do, since he actually quite likes Emmeline, and he never meant...oh Merlin.

She's facing him now, and he can see that he's also managed to singe the tips of her large afro.

Emmeline looks furious.

And then half the corridor seems to explode.

Sirius ends up flat on his back and covered in rubble, but lucky that Emmeline's aim is slightly off as her spell misses it's mark, and leaves a scorched hole in a nearby wall instead.

"Protego."

On his back he manages to block an arc of light, which bounces off his sheild charm.

A burning smell greets them as Lily and Remus follow the group of first years into the corridor where Sirius is duelling Emmeline Vance.

No, Lily corrects that statement in her head, where Sirius is losing his duel against Emmeline.

Emmeline who is a whole year younger and a good two feet shorter.

They're not the only prefects who are watching, Lily recognises the boy and girl from Hufflepuff as well.

Another 4th year Ravenclaw joins them, Amy Floss, she recognises Amy as the girl Remus had spent a good portion of the previous year snogging in The Three Broomsticks.

Remus and Amy stand next to each other impassive, with no hint that they'd once shared bodily fluids.

"Sirius doesn't think that she's me does he?"

Amy asks.

"No, I don't think so."

Remus replies.

Satisfied by this answer Amy crosses her arms and continues to watch the duel.

Lily's emerald green gaze shifts from Amy to Sirius, Seraphina Blake, who is standing next to Dirk Cresswell and sobbing, and it strikes her that Remus has a type.

None of them really look alike.

Amy is curvaceous, petite and covered in freckles.

Sirius is well, he's Sirius, practically perfect in every way, excluding being mental of course.

And Seraphina is thin and pale with an extremely pointed chin.

No, what connects the three, is hair, specifically long, luxurious, curly hair in brown (Amy), black (Sirius) and blonde (Seraphina).

Remus has a thing about hair.

Lily can't help but internally laugh at this.

She wonders if he knows.

Lily gives him a look from the corner of her eye, and watches as his face appears to twitch as he seemingly fights the duel alongside Sirius.

Of course he doesn't know.

Emmeline is one of the most skilled and aggressive fighters that Remus has ever seen, and she's attempting spells that are far beyond the usual capabilities of a 4th year.

Many of her spells thankfully miss their target becauseof this, but occasionally, when she focuses, she hits her mark and Sirius is forced to deflect them.

They need to work on Sirius' sheild charms.

Is he a bad boyfriend, because he's critically assessing Sirius' duelling ability, rather than actually trying to help him.

Is he that cold blooded?

Is it cold blooded?

He shouldn't have to rescue Sirius all the time, after all Sirius got himself into this mess, and he can bloody well get himself out.

It doesn't stop his fingers from twitching against the rounded handle of his own wand, however.

And he catches sight of Dirk yanking Seraphina backwards by the neck of her robes as she attempts to join the fray.

Seraphina.

Is that what this is all about?

That Sirius has overheard some part of their conversation and what...what...managed to blow it all out of proportion.

Is that what Sirius thinks, that he would ever, could ever have feelings for anyone else.

Remus' fingers drop from his wand.

Sirius is on his own.

"Amy,"

He turns his attention to the girl standing next to him.

He'll give Sirius something to blow out of proportion.

"Yes."

Amy answers as she pulls her gaze away from the fight.

"It's my birthday on the 10th and I'm planning on having a small gathering in The Three Broomsticks, would you like to come?"

He watches as Amy's tanned and freckled cheeks colour.

"Okay."

As soon as she agrees Remus feels horribly childish, but it's too late, the deed is done.

The deed is done.

Sirius doesn't think he's ever been happier to see Professor Mcgonnigal as she sweeps into the view.

He feels like a scorched and blooded mess under Emmeline's attacks.

The duel is over.

Breathing hard, Sirius rests his head against the solid flagstoned floor and stares up at the ceiling.


	18. One Year Earlier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus had a girlfriend, Sirius was jealous.

One Year Earlier.

Amy Floss is a Muggleborn, 3rd Year, Ravenclaw, who has a passion for the following:

The music of the Bay City Rollers.

Being a member of her local Muggle pony club.

Being a member of her local tennis club and her ambitions of becoming the next Billie Jean King, the English version and without the use of magic.

Oh and snogging the face off the 4th year, Gryffindor student, Remus Lupin.

"I don't think they should let third years into The Three Broomsticks, it lowers the tone."

Sirius observes.

He is sitting with James and Peter at a table next to the fire and opposite Remus and Amy who are snogging away as if this isn't a public place.

It is a public place.

And it is Sirius' idea that they sit opposite, so that they can openly stare at the 'happy couple'.

"Do you think that Amy's got any friends?"

Peter asks from behind his glass of butterbeer.

"Probably, she seems very popular."

James teases.

"That's not what I meant."

"We know what you meant, and I highly doubt any of her friends would be interested in you."

Sirius barks back harshly.

He's angry and he doesn't know why, he's felt this way ever since Remus and Amy started going out.

Sirius never expected to be the first to get a girlfriend, he's not really that interested in girls, he's sure that desire will come in time, but...but Remus, why was it him, why did he have to go and find someone like Amy.

Sirius hates her.

He's only spoken to her twice, but he hates her none the less.

It's irrational, but as the heir to The Most Noble and Ancient House of Black that's his prerogative.

Being irrational is practically his birth right along with excellent hair and high cheekbones.

"Do you think she's letting him you know,"

James' face turns very pink.

"...slip in the tongue?"

James and Peter collapse into a fit of giggles, while Sirius rolls his eyes.

"They've got gills."

Sirius mumbles miserably.

"You know, you shouldn't stare it's rude."

Three Gryffindor girls, Marlene, Mary and Lily appear at their table each clutching a butterbeer.

"What are we staring at?"

Lily asks.

James shifts forward in his seat and smiles mischievously at the red head.

"We're trying to work out if Amy is letting Moony slip her a bit of the old tongue. What do you think Evans?"

Lily's face colours, while Marlene looks disgusted, and Mary stares at Peter.

"You're pathetic."

Marlene practically growls.

However the boys shift along the table as the girls settle next to them.

The six of them, Sirius, James, Peter, Mary, Lily and Marlene are now openly staring at the kissing couple, who have yet to touch either of their butterbeers.

"I think it's nice."

Mary says after a beat.

"Poor Lupin has all those scars and he's always ill, it's nice for him to have a girlfriend, and especially one as lovely as Amy."

Sirius stares into the fire, and he feels his face begin to grow uncomfortably warm.

It's impossible to hate Mary Macdonald, but in that moment he does dislike her intensely, she's so patronising.

Sirius hears a familiar clearing on the throat and when he looks up Remus is staring down at him, with his mouth red and swollen.

"Alright, Moony."

James raises his glass of butterbeer.

"No. Can you all please stop staring at us, it's starting to freak Amy out. It's not a spectators sport."

Everyone excluding Sirius laughs a little at this statement, even Lily.

Remus rolls his eyes.

"Please, I really like her."

"We like her too, mate."

Peter says.

"Yea, why don't you join us."

James offers.

So that's what happen, Amy ends up sitting sandwiched between Remus and Sirius.


	19. Happy Birthday Remus pt.1

"Happy birthday!"

Remus wakes with a start as James drags back the curtains of his four poster and immediately jumps on his bed.

Peter joins him, hovering expectantly over James shoulder.

The pair immediately thrust two badly wrapped presents against his chest, as Remus pulls himself up the bed and into a sitting position.

From where he sits he can see Sirius watching him.

They haven't spoken, because Sirius has been in the hospital wing recovering from his duel with Emmeline, and Remus has been avoiding him.

It's surprisingly easy to make excuses when your O.W.L.s are imminent.

He's been spending the last week in the library trying to improve the skills he lacks in potions with the aid of Lily and Snape.

He's not purposely trying to spend time with Snape, it's just that wherever Lily is, Severus has the habit of turning up as well.

Maybe Lily has told him how she feels and they're a couple, he hasn't wanted to ask, because he doesn't want to have to keep it from James.

Remus never visited Sirius in the hospital wing because, because he was just too angry and he was afraid of what he might say, and...

He loves Sirius.

He feels guilty because he couldn't bring himself to visit him without the threat of losing his temper.

It's a bad sign and it makes him wonder if there's any point in carrying on.

"Open mine first."

James demands.

Remus does as he's told, and he's surprised to find a book called Defensive Spells and How to Use Them nestled in the brightly coloured crimson and gold paper.

"I saw it and immediately thought of you."

James exclaims happily.

This will come in handy when it comes to improving Sirius' sheild charms, Remus thinks to himself, as he turns the book over in his hands.

"It's wonderful, Prongs."

He smiles at his friend.

"Me next, do mine!"

Peter pleads.

So Remus unwraps the next gift, which has clearly been wrapped up by the same hand as James', Peter's own he guesses.

Peter's present consists of a deluxe box of chocolates and a rainbow coloured charm bracelet, which Remus is absolutely never going to wear.

"The bracelet is from Mary."

Peter adds quickly.

"Things are getting serious if you're doing joint presents, mate."

Frank says, as he tosses a small package on the bed next to Remus' leg.

"That's from me and Dorcs."

Frank and Dorcus' present consists of an everlasting quill, which is supposed, according to it's packaging, to never run out of ink.

They're all brilliant gifts, even the bracelet, and more than Remus could ever had hoped for.

He lifts the lid of the chocolates and tries not to seem annoyed as James, Peter and Frank all take one without asking.

He purposely does not look at Sirius, who so far has been conspicuous with his silence.

"You next, Pads."

Peter says through a mouthful of chocolate.

Trust Peter to put his foot in it.

Frank clears his throat and drifts away from the bed to pick up his towel and his wash bag.

"That's a nice bracelet, did Mary make it herself?"

James distracts Peter.

Remus pretends to flick through the book James had given him as Sirius takes a tentative step towards his bed.

"I'll give it to you in the pub."

Sirius tells him in a tight sounding voice.

Remus nods, but doesn't look at him, because looking at Sirius makes him feel like a terrible human being.

Frank is the first to leave the dormitory, his towel wrapped around the back of his neck.

Conscious that he doesn't want to be the last one to leave, Remus cautiously tucks his haul of presents into his bedside drawer and hops out of his four poster.

He collects up his dressing gown, towel and drawstring wash bag, but however fast he moves James appears to be pushing Peter on to leave the room as quickly as possible, throwing his toothbrush at him at one point.

"Hurry up Wormy."

James complains as he grabs the collection of Peter's clothes and bundles his friend out of the room.

Remus hurries to catch up with them, but just as he reaches the door he finds himself being dragged backwards.

Sirius grey eyes are suddenly burning up at him, as he feels himself being pushed roughly against the hard wood of the dormitory door.

For one moment Remus isn't sure if Sirius is going to punch him, and it seems as if Sirius himself doesn't even know.

Remus leans forward and pulls Sirius into a rough and desperate kiss.

It's been far too long, days, since he last felt Sirius in his arms.

"Happy birthday, Moony."

Sirius is practically glowing when their lips finally part.

Just for once Remus doesn't feel guilty when his friends pull out their money bags in Honeydukes, although he does limit them to only buying him one item each.

It's all chocolate, because a long time ago someone (James or Sirius) started a rumour that he's obsessed with chocolate, this is in fact a rotten lie.

Yes, he likes to keep a bar or two in his robes at all times.

And yes, when he runs out, he does occasionally develop sweating palms until he can get his next fix.

Not fix, obviously not fix, he's not an addict.

The sun is shining and it's one of those perfect early Spring days as they make their way out of Honeydukes and slowly meander towards The Three Broomsticks.

Sirius is holding his hand, which garners some disgusted looks from a gang of Slytherins that they pass.

And then, just when everything seems to be so much better, Remus catches sight of Amy Floss entering the pub, and he remembers that he invited her out of spite.

Sirius drops his hand, and Remus knows that he's in trouble.


	20. Of Blood and Tears and Broken Gitars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second part of Remus' birthday.  
> Thank you to everyone who has left kudos, commented and taken the time to stop by and read.  
> 

"Moony!"

Remus is too angry to think straight as he slams out of The Three Broomsticks and stalks along the Hogsmeade highstreet and back towards the castle.

The sunshine has gone, and as if the weather has decided to reflect his mood, it's raining.

Well drizzling, which is less dramatic than actual pelting rain.

"Moony, wait!"

He can hear James calling out after him.

Happy birthday Remus, you absolutely deluded prat, he thinks to himself as he walks along in a funk of self pity.

"Right, you!"

Sirius must have found some shortcut behind The Three Broomsticks, wait of course he's found a secret shortcut- it's Sirius, because he's suddenly marching towards him.

Sirius' nose is gushing with blood from where Frank punched him and he's still clutching the neck of Dorcus' smashed guitar in one hand.

Why does it always have to be blood and pain and histrionics with Sirius Black?

"Go away, leave me alone."

Remus digs his hands into his pockets and keeps his head down as he walks passed Sirius.

Sirius dogs at his heels.

"It was an accident, I didn't mean it, I just saw Reg and I snapped. I'll buy Dorcus another bloody guitar."

Sirius spits through the blood.

Remus stops.

"You shouldn't have to buy her another guitar, she lent that one to you, you should have treated it with respect. You can't just break other people's things because you're having a tantrum."

"It was not a tantrum."

Sirius says without a hint of irony as he stamps his foot.

"I don't care."

Remus admits, although this is of course a lie.

He keeps going.

"I don't care,"

Sirius looks stricken.

"...about your brother,"

"...or your murderous cousins,"

"...or any of your dysfunctional inbred family. This was meant to be MY day, MY birthday, not another excuse for you to look like a prat!"

He's breathing hard now.

"Moony, stop it, please."

James has caught up with them now, and appears next to Sirius with a pained expression on his face.

"I did not look like a prat."

Sirius bites back.

"Yes you did, once they got over the sheer terror, people were laughing at you. You looked like an idiot. You still do."

The scarlet river pouring from Sirius' misshapen nose causes the rest of his pale face to appear almost translucent as the colour appears to drain from him.

"Moony. Padfoot. Please."

They both ignore James, who has turned as pale as Sirius.

"Yeah well, you're, you're, you're,"

Sirius is clearly struggling.

"...boring."

He finishes with a look of fiery triumph in his mad gaze.

"You're boring Remus. You spoil all our fun. You're the fun police. The most interesting thing about you is your,"

Remus' internally tenses.

"...furry little problem. Personally, I prefer the wolf."

As the words leave his mouth Sirius' eyes widen in horror, as if he's surprised by the fact that he's speaking at all.

The fog of rage clears, Remus sees it, as Sirius' snarl dies upon his lips.

"That's not true."

James reminds them both that he's still there by speaking.

"Tell him it's not true, Padfoot."

But it is true, Remus has long harboured the suspicion that his friends only put up with him because of his lycanthropy, not in spite of it.

Sirius doesn't say anything, instead he just stands there bleeding.

Remus feels the sting of hot tears.

And then James suddenly doubles over as if he's been hit by a bludger.

"PRONGS!"

Sirius and Remus gasp in unison, as they turn their attention from each other to James.

"I can't, I can't, breathe...I can't breathe."

James struggles.

"Do something, do something Remus!"

Sirius cries.

Remus' brain has stalled, he just stands there feeling useless, watching as one of his best friends as he struggles to breathe.

"I...I don't know."

He fumbles blindly, watching as James' face turns increasingly pale.

"James, James, it's alright."

And the from seemingly nowhere Lily Evans enters the fray, elbowing Sirius and Remus out of the way as she comes to James' aid.

"Is he dying?"

Sirius asks in a desperate voice.

"No, I think he's having a panic attack. Has he ever done this before?"

Lily addresses Remus, who tries to recall any time that he's ever seen James in such a state.

He shakes his head.

Have they killed James with their argument?

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Sirius repeats the same mantra over and over again as he sobs and bleeds.

"I dont...I don't...want to...die...Lily."

James gasps as he clutches desperately at Lily.

"You won't."

Lily says firmly.

"I promise that I'll never let you die, you prat."

Remus sits between the hospital beds of his friends and frowns down at the floor.

James is sleeping fast, his heavy snores fill the room.

"Moony."

He hears Sirius croak his name out, and he turns to face him.

Despite the fact that Sirius' nose is no longer broken, he still has two black eyes and a good deal of bruising around his cheek and chin.

"How are you feeling?"

Remus asks.

All the anger that he had felt in Hogsmeade has ebbed away now, and all that's left behind is concern and love.

He's in love with Sirius.

"I love you."

Sirius says weakly.

"I know."

Their fingers find each other across the bed.

"Do you want to break up?"

Remus clutches Sirius hand tightly in his own and nods.

They both start to cry.

"I'm sorry."

Sirius says tearfully.

"I never meant any of that rubbish I said in Hogsmeade, I was, I was having a tantrum."

They both smile at this, despite everything.

"I know."

Remus manages a weak grin.

"Can we still be friends?"

Sirius asks cautiously.

Of course, Remus thinks instantly.

"We will always be friends, Padfoot."


	21. Home Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love the idea that Lupin has to teach Neville, after having had a fantasy about Frank as Mellors.
> 
> Also thank you for all the support.
> 
> This fun train is not stopping here, as I'm planning another story in this series.

Things seemed to settle down fairly quickly between Sirius and Remus, and it isn't long until normal service has been resumed for The Maurders and they settle back into their old, well worn routine.

They're still in love, but...

But they just don't act on it.

They make sure that they're never alone, that either James or Peter are between them.

And anyway in the run up to their exams they're both so busy, that neither of them have the capacity to think about romance, although...

Although they had shared a kiss the eve of their final exam in Defense Against the Dark Arts.

The last exam.

Remus had felt so nervous that sleep had eluded him, so he'd snuck out of the dormitory and been surprised when he'd seen Sirius sat in front of the fire in the common room pouring over a dozen or so books and looking demented. 

"Why didn't I do any bloody revision?"

Sirius had lamented, which had caused Remus to roll his eyes and settle on the floor next to him.

"You know this Padfoot, you're brilliant at this stuff."

Remus had attempted to assure him.

"Look werewolves, how to spot them, what attracts them. You know this."

He'd wriggled his eyebrows at that and Sirius had burst out laughing.

After the laughter had subsided Sirius had glanced over the top of his reference book and said.

"I thought I did."

Without a thought passed the obvious Remus had pulled Sirius into a kiss, which was only broken by the sound of an awkward cough as Nearly Headless Nick had floated into the room.

Kissing Sirius in the brief moment had been perfect, and it had served as a reminder as to just how much Remus had missed doing it, kissing his friend all of the time.

And then it had stopped, as with the appearance of Nick, both boys had suddenly remembered themselves.

Secretly Remus had hoped that the kiss might have been the start of something, but it turned out to be the end, as the very next day he'd stood back at watched the altercation between James and Snape.

Sirius had egged James on with a look of delight on his face.

Mudblood.

Whatever had been burgeoning between Lily and Snape had also died that day as Snape had uttered the unforgivable slur.

She's sitting with them now in their carriage on the Hogwarts Express.

It's usually just the four of them in their carriage, but on this return journey they have also been joined by Mary, who is sat next to Peter.

It's so simple for them, they sit there giggling and enchanting every flavour beans to fly through the air between them and into their mouths.

Neither of them are mentally ill or afflicted with cursed blood.

"Where's miserable Marlene, Evans?"

James asks Lily, who lifts her gaze from Peter and Mary.

"Oh she wanted to travel back to London with her brother, it's the last time they will be on the train together."

James and Sirius exchange a look on account of Marlene's brother, Rory, being a Slytherin.

"Oh and Frank is dumping Dorcus."

Mary pipes up.

This is of no great surprise since the last time Remus had seen Frank he'd been snogging the face of Amy Floss.

Does this mean through osmosis that Remus has kissed Frank, since they've both snogged Amy?

Frank is not actually bad looking, in fact Remus would go as far as to say that Frank is handsome in a sort of rugged 'I'm the new gardener, m'lady' sort of way.

He blushes at this thought.

"It's the other way around."

Lily corrects Mary.

"Who'd have thought that there would be so many break-ups in one year?"

Mary muses.

Remus begins to feel uncomfortable.

"Amelia and Tim. Marlene and Clemency. Frank and Dorcus. And you two."

She waggles a finger between Sirius and Remus.

The atmosphere in the carriage suddenly turns stifling.

"I think I might get something from the trolley, do you lot want anything?"

Lily asks quickly.

Remus fixes her with a thankful stare.

"I'll have a pumpkin pastie, and some acid pops."

James says, as he produces his money bag from his robes.

"Same. Only Prongs will buy mine as well."

Sirius adds so casually, that Remus wonders if he's even heard what Mary had said.

Perhaps he just doesn't care.

"Oh will he, well this is news to Prongs."

James laughs.

"Moony, Wormtail, do you want anything?"

"What are those long strawberry lace things?"

Peter questions the group.

"Merlin, Wormy, they're strawberry laces."

Sirius confirms.

They look at each other then, their eyes meet across the carriage and they smile at one another.

A secret smile that is only meant for the other.

"Moony?"

The moment ends abruptly, as James addresses him expectantly.

"That quite a big order, I'll come with you, Lily."

He stands up, and it feels good not to be cramped in his seat.

"I'm sorry about Mary, she doesn't mean to be such an unstoppable idiot."

Lily says, as Remus slides the door of the carriage shut behind them.

"It's alright, it's fine."

Remus shrugs.

It really isn't alright or 'fine', but such is life.

"Sirius and I just made a mistake that's all."

He doesn't know why he feels the need to say that.

Lily nods her head as if understanding completely.

"I know exactly what you mean."

There's a harsh and brittle tone to her voice, which makes it clear, that she is still upset over Snape.

He doesn't say anything, because what's the point, they're both heartbroken.

They're all heartbroken.

Lily and Mary have long since left the carriage when the train enters London.

The girls had gone off to comfort Dorcus, who'd been a hysterically shrieking mess as she'd barged into their compartment, confirming that Frank had been the dumper and not the dumpee.

What hadn't helped matters was when Sirius had thrown the remains of his pumpkin pastie at Dorcus, while telling her to...

"Knock it off! We've all been dumped."

Remus had been under the impression that their break-up had been a mutual agreement, but clearly Sirius had not seen it that way.

An outraged Lily had led a sobbing Dorcus away, while Mary had trailed along in their wake.

Sirius mood continues to darken, reaching pitch black levels as they get closer and closer to their final destination.

He's always like this when faced with the prospect of returning to his family.

"Cheer up, Pads. The time will fly by, and remember you'll be staying at mine for the last three weeks."

James attempts to cheer up Sirius, who looks stricken.

"You can come to mine,"

Remus hears himself speaking, but he doesn't believe it, that can't be him.

"You to Prongs, Wormtail."

He hears himself quickly adding.

Peter looks delighted, while James' face is filled with trepidation.

"What about?"

James makes a sort of motion with his hands, which Remus supposes is meant to refer to his 'furry little problem'.

"Just for a week, my parents are renting a cottage off a Muggle farmer."

The Lupins have been forced to move again, Remus hasn't even seen his new home yet, but he does know that it's somewhere in Somerset.

"Yes."

Sirius says, almost instantly.

And Peter joins in enthusiastically.

"I will have to ask Mum and Dad, but I think they'll be alright with it."

James is the last to agree.

Remus feels oddly free and happy at the thought of getting to spend a week with his friends, all he has to do now is get his own parents to agree.

As they depart the train, Remus notices that Sirius' mood has improved.


End file.
